Struggling with Meditation Mantras

Speaker 1 0:52

so I haven't been using my mantra in like months in my meditations . It all started when I rounded last year for that week in india , thank you , um . And at the end of it I think it was the last day I got my advanced mantra . And then it took me back to when I first started vedic meditating . That I felt physically ill , a lot really agitated , and I really had to back off . And then a couple of months later I brought it back . I brought back the mantra and then even started rounding again around August .

Speaker 1 1:24

And then I remember we went away for the week for Rose birthday and he was like whoa , what's up with you ? Why are you in like a foul mood ? And I was like , oh yeah , because I've been rounding this week again and it's just like it just like gets so agitated . And so , yeah , I've kind of been flowing in and out with the mantra and I just haven't . Even last night I couldn't sleep and I sat up in bed because you talked about this last week and I was like just bring in the mantra . And then my body was like no , yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 1:58

Yeah , yeah , yeah . Yeah , the effect of unstressing is , you know , sometimes not very pleasant and you know what we can say about this particular technique is it's very powerful in purifying . And you know , unstressing comes in waves , in cycles , and I think that what some people do at times is , when the unstressing wave peaks , they're just like enough and then they sort of abandon right when it's about to wane and settle down again . So my recommendation would be next time , you know , you start to feel that peak unstressing happening , ride it , Ride that wave and let it pass , because something really remarkable is happening here .

Speaker 2 2:48

You know , the desired outcome is to release ourselves from the impressions that have stuck to us from experiences in the past that we

Understanding the Unstressing Process

Speaker 2 3:00

can't easily metabolize , just in our self-reflection . These are impressions , things that have stuck to us , um , at a time in our probably in our formative years , where we don't have the capacity to process the experience , and we refer to them as samskaras . They are the impressions or traumas that become lodged in our nervous system and in our subtle energetic bodies , that have a massive impact on the way in which we see reality , the decisions we make , the way we behave , spontaneously and without premeditation or pretext . We just find ourselves spontaneously behaving in particular ways that doesn't always yield a desirable outcome . We notice ourselves behaving in ways that we're like this is not really who I feel I am , but yet here I am behaving in this way and , invariably , what these impressions do is inhibit our capacity to detect subtlety , do is inhibit our capacity to detect subtlety , to detect the nature of our being and to intuit the intelligence that's flowing through us . That is the mechanism by which we orientate ourselves , determine what's relevant and move in the direction of really fulfilling desire , fulfilling why we feel like we're here . And while ever we've got these impressions , these samskaras , these traumas in our nervous system active , we're susceptible to their influence and they will undoubtedly misguide us away from or distract us from or deviate us from moving in the direction that we desire most , which is to continue unfolding the self , to seeing and knowing who we are .

Speaker 2 5:09

And you know all of this spiritual awakenings a hard sell . If you were to put

The Hard Sell of Spiritual Awakening

Speaker 2 5:15

it in a brochure , you know . You know in terms of nuts and bolts what the reality of it is . I don't think you get many . You know many buyers , many takers . You know in terms of like , really just talking about it , it's like , okay , you know , I want you to come and invest , you know , some significant time every single day to looking into things that make you really comfortable , that you've spent a good part of your life avoiding , because it's really uncomfortable . And to feel terrified and agitated and to be easily triggered by people that you know are just being completely innocent and making them the object of your pain and suffering , and only to realize that it was all you . You know like it's . It's a hard sell .

Speaker 2 6:10

So , you know , anybody that's even remotely invested in themselves in this way , you know , gets the fullness of my attention , because it's such a special and important thing and , in the scheme of things , unique and so important , can't emphasize how important it is that we humans take to the task of freeing ourselves of the propaganda of our unresolved past , because all of our problems are generated by the propaganda of our unresolved past . The convictions of our beliefs that are built on the foundations of pain . You know makes for a very precarious world , and the only way that we are going to liberate ourselves from our current dilemmas is if we , as a species , celebrate and support and reinforce and encourage , you know , deep self-awareness and the deep work that that requires . So I'm giving this kind of spiel right now it's kind of a pep talk , if you like so that the next time it happens just write it . See what happens .

Speaker 2 7:30

Right , be cool , that's her husband . Support each other . You know this is a . You know you learn to giggle at it . You know you're unstressing . You know you just giggle at the whole thing and you guys have like spent plenty of time unstressing off your heads together in retreat and you know what it's like . So it's a beautiful investment because , as the peaking of the unstressing subsides , what it gives way to is just a deeper experience of the self . It

Acceptance in the Purification Process

Speaker 2 8:10

always yields a reward . Every time we go through a big bout of purging and unstressing , what is revealed is oh , more of myself , and after a while you just you welcome it , you welcome it . It's like that . You know that pain you get after a good workout the next day . You know you're feeling muscles you never felt before , but you know that because you're feeling them , you've activated them and therefore that's going to translate to greater strength .

Speaker 1 8:40

So there's value in that , yeah I guess that , um , I feel like when I am in the unstressing , I feel like I have like no control over it and it it's just like I'm in a horrible mood and I don't have any perspective on anything . And that's when I've been leaning into more of like my Vipassana practices of the noticing and that gives me greater control of the not blaming and like in this last 10 days when I've had like chaotic stuff happening at work external has been really rough . But because I've had that , you know , not blaming , not been in that like unstressing place , I just I wouldn't be able to handle it if I was . And I felt like for months after the rounding retreat I was in that place of like no perspective on anything , blame couldn't control , um , and life was like hard in that place .

Speaker 1 9:32

And so , and you know , when I look at Ro and how he was , just like I'm integrated one week later . Um , and he is like in a lot of ways , like a less complicated person . And you know , when somebody has had like a lot of trauma and has a lot of that built up in their system , like is it maybe like better that I'm just gentler with it and I back off and I go into it and out of it and I , I like I feel like I'm , like you know , always like screaming into a pillow and dancing along . I just have so much energy that I just need to move off .

Speaker 2 10:03

Yeah , yeah , some of us just have that . You know we we carry in this life more trauma than others , and it's important not to compare the conditions of our nervous systems because you know we're all on unique journeys to the great inevitable . Returning to the ocean . It's going to happen , no matter what you know , in this life or the next or the next , it's coming , and so all that's left for us to do is just to accept what's going on , understand it for what it is and recognize that the more you invest in allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for a minute , the more you're going to discover yourself . That gives rise to stability . When we allow ourselves to unravel and be okay with not knowing for a moment . In being okay , you're immediately in your power . The only thing that is missing from your purification process is acceptance . When we are accepting of what's taking place , we can feel very confused of what's taking place . We can feel very confused , very uneasy , very disorientated , but at least go . I recognize I'm unstressing because that's what happens . Right , you know you're unstressing . So consciousness is there . The higher self is there . It may be only faintly present because of the typhoon that's happening on the surface of the ocean , of the typhoon that's happening on the surface of the ocean , of the self . Waves are massive , crashing , there's dramas , it's like I'm drowning , right , but the witness is there going . I'm unstressing , like there's not actually anything real in the world that's making me feel this way , other than the fact that I rolled around on the ground and did some pranayama and meditated , thinking this sweet little sound for 20 minutes . That was the only thing at play that kind of caused a bomb to go off in your nervous system , right . The fact that you're able to witness that is the first step . The next step is accepting . Okay , I chose to do this for a particular reason and it is very uncomfortable and I prefer not to be having this experience , but I am , and I understand that it's in the name of removing something that I'm carrying around . This is not just some random thing that came from the unstressing fairies and they dumped it in your nervous system . You're unlocking something that's in there . When you are feeling that upheaval , all you're doing is cracking open the layers of your subconscious and allowing it to be released ,

Complementary Mindfulness Practices

Speaker 2 12:53

and that is the mechanics of our awakening .

Speaker 2 13:00

So , to answer your question , I think that the mindfulness practice is complementary . I would not abandon the 20-minute meditation . After the 20-minute meditation , if you feel like you're unstressing , then bring in the mindfulness , because they're one and the same thing . Mindfulness is while . You can practice it with your eyes closed , it's really an eyes-open experience . It's learning to be a quantumist in the moment , to detect being . They are complementary .

Speaker 2 13:31

But I would say , don't abandon the technique that's doing the excavating , because we can't expand our consciousness without removing what is obstructing consciousness in the first place , because all you are is consciousness . You are your most enlightened self right now , and the only thing that is not enabling you to detect that is the impressions that are stuck in the ego structure . The ego wants to collapse back into the ocean of the self . The ego wants to collapse back into the ocean of the self , and there is aspects of your ego structure that believes it's not safe to do that . I have to remain ever vigilant , because this world is crazy and things can happen that are unexpected , particularly from people you trust . Don't trust anybody . That's what that's what the , the ego structure , is hardwired to do .

Speaker 2 14:23

And so we have this technique that goes in , it flicks the switch on , that it switches it off for a moment and we can bypass the , the fight or flight program , the hypervigilance mechanism of the brain and the nervous system , and just transcend into being for a bit , bathe in it , come out and then it reboots and over time what's occurring is we're gently instructing the brain about the truth of who and what we are by simply exposing it the mind , the ego structure , the ideas , the structural , the perceptual structures that we feed on to determine reality . When

The Gold of Mining the Self

Speaker 2 15:07

we keep bathing that into the self , dipping it in , pulling it out , tipping it in , it's like bleaching out the impurities . Anything that is not true and real ultimately is dissolved and what remains is something pure , an awareness of what the self is , and the whole need for hypervigilance and control and all of that . It just dissolves , it gets decommissioned , it doesn't have a purpose anymore because there's nothing to be afraid of . When we're established in ourself , fear dissolves and the complementary practice of being aware , like you do in your mindfulness practice , is a beautiful mechanism for taking the gold that you're mining through the transcending technique , the being technique , because you're mining the self in that technique and then when we mine , what we're doing is we're removing stuff and revealing the bounty of the self and we can utilize that to exercise greater capability in actualizing our will , our deepest desire , and they serve each other . So that would be my recommendation yeah , awesome .

Speaker 2 16:43

Don't abandon the practice when it gets too hot , because when it gets too hot , that means that all your efforts have amounted to this moment . It's a peak moment . It's unpleasant , but the more you're unstressing , the more you're like ah , the deeper the work is that you've done . Yeah , it's really important to be reminded of this from time to time , because we can think we're going crazy and you know , we think that we're broken or something's wrong with us and we need to fix it . But actually that's what we're doing . We're fixing ourselves if we can just allow this process to occur .