Speaker 1: 0:53

you know how we can be. We can catch ourselves in the narratives and was it like being self deprecating? And yeah, my question was like when you said we're talking about forgiveness and compassion, and compassion towards the self mm-hmm what does it look like? Because you know it is that thing like, oh, I'm gonna think to be happy and that's not. That's not gonna happen, that's not gonna work it's feeling and also being compassionate to.

Speaker 1: 1:25

I'm even noticing those negative thoughts that are doing that because you can't stop them, because they're there and they're trying yeah there's no point of stopping them. But I was finding myself getting like a bit like a bit clunky through that, being like, oh, like, oh, wait, wait, wait, what? And it has that feel. Oh, it feels like shit. I'm horrible. Oh wait, no, be nice, no compassion.

Speaker 2: 1:46

Yes, it can be exactly like that. Yeah, and so compassion exists beyond the domain of thinking. You know, compassion is not dependent on any affirmation, it's not actually dependent in any way on what's happening inside the mind. The mind can be doing whatever it wants to be doing and we can be in acceptance of what's happening in the mind and there is the first expression of compassion. Acceptance is the first expression of compassion. Acceptance is the first expression of compassion. Compassion is, you know, the powerful silence of wisdom that can sit quietly and just allow whatever's happening and know that resolution doesn't come with any force of change or addressing the problem. On the level of the problem. You can't change your thinking with thinking. You can't be more compassionate by thinking about it.

Speaker 2: 2:41

Compassion is the act of accepting yourself fully, where you're at first relinquishing the need to control or dominate or change what is happening by a thought, by some idea, and generally that is driven by a previous idea, which is that the way that you are is not good enough and what's happening is unacceptable. The way I am right now is unacceptable, this is not good enough. So we judge ourselves. And then what comes after a judgment? A, a strategy of some kind of control right, an authoritarian approach to trying to control the outcome. Now that can take the form of being very aggressive and mean to ourselves, or it could be just total self-loathing and move into hopelessness and depression. It could come in either way, but either way, it's a controlling mechanism and it has nothing to do with anything other than you know.

Speaker 2: 3:49

It's the intellect, grossly mistaken, believing it somehow has the power of influence over the entire system, which it does not. The intellect is just a processing mechanism of deeper, abstract energy and information intelligence that is emerging out of us. And when we are disconnected from that intelligence and we give credence to the intellect for too long, then it starts to believe that in actual fact it's in control and it tries to fix everything. And there are areas that it's not an access. All areas function. It's limited and there's certain places it can't go. Compassion is access to all areas. It emanates from the source. Compassion is the expression of love and love emerges from the divine. And what is the first thing that compassion informs us to do? Surrender.

Speaker 2: 4:55

It's not an active component, it's not an active, it's just not a doing thing, it's an allowing thing. Move back into being, surrender. Surrender whatever program of control you're running right now. Let it go. Put the weapons down and accept this moment as it is, accept yourself as it is and accept your power to meet the challenge of this moment. And then we bring our attention from thinking into feeling. What am I describing here? The golden sequence. So surrendering, accepting feeling, allowing the whole process to occur, we reconnect with that intelligence in the feeling process and in that same process where we're releasing the energy. We're releasing whatever it is that's causing the mind to constantly need to control.

Speaker 2: 5:50

If we can reveal to the mind the source of self, the mind naturally goes like this it just wants to surrender. It's exhausted. It's only that we've been trained to be ever hypervigilant to impending danger. It's become so ingrained. It's trauma, like it's a trauma reaction, and so it just incessantly does it like this, like a twitch. And the only way that we can retrain the mind to surrender to its deeper nature, to move into being, is to expose ourselves to that place. This is why meditation is critical, because meditation takes us there and then we is critical because meditation takes us there and then we come out and it takes us there. We come out and eventually it starts to imprint on our experience with our eyes open and we've got that foundation there to reference when we find ourselves flipping out in the mind. We can observe the mind and go oh, I am not that, oh, I am not that. And let us investigate through compassion, through surrender, accepting, allowing, feeling, connecting and responding to the moment. From that place we're demonstrating, we're retraining the mind.

Speaker 2: 7:21

Consciousness, the deeper intelligence is at play here. We are beyond the mind. And then the mind falls in line, the mind cognizes what's going on and then it starts to be filled with pretty coherent thoughts of the truth. The truth is always beautiful in the mind when we allow it. It gets acquired by what's happening in a deeper layer and insight appears and then we're good again. And so this is the process, this vigilance of bringing ourself back into the moment, surrendering when we notice moving back into the heart, feeling, accepting, accepting, accepting, accepting. It's okay, everything's okay. I'm not going to fix this by anything that's happening in the mind and we revert to that deeper divine intelligence. Come up, acquire me, have this experience, gobble it up, devour it, and it does, and we get filled. And then we reset, and we get on with it until we forget again, and then we do it again.

Speaker 1: 8:41

And this is the retraining process. Yeah, I just feel like sometimes that is perfect. But what I'm just saying is like, no, that's been great, that's what I needed to hear. No, that's been great, that's what I needed to hear. But, like, as I'm surrendering into feeling, like I feel like every time I fully surrender this, this shit, yeah, and like, but that's good and it's just like. But like you know when, when's the point where it's like the baby's, like you know crying about a thing and you give the baby the next thing to stop thinking about that thing. Or you know like, oh, I can pay my attention to the next thing to stop thinking about the thing. Or you know, like I pay my attention to the world and how I can be of service. Or you know, sit there and go all right, let's feel this and be compassionate towards it and kind of walk around a bit like mm-hmm you know this, this, this feels like this everlasting layers that can just pop out that's what it feels like, but it's's not.

Speaker 2: 9:33

It's not everlasting. You know, some of us have got big barrels of stuff to process and the truth is that every passing day, you're more awake, you're more aware. Pay attention to that. You're waking up. Yeah, it's happening, and it's just you're in the muddy trenches, you know, on the front line of your own enlightenment, and this is what it looks like and this is what it feels like, but or, and you know, the advantage of this is that you're walking this path and at some point, you know, within, within the next, you know, five to ten years, you'll be masterful at this and a very powerful resource for any other human being walking this path, and I'll go hey, steli, this is what I'm going through. It's like, yeah, I know all about it, and trust me when I say this stay the course, you know, because that's all that's happening here. You can say that because, course you know, because that's all that's happening here.

Speaker 1: 10:34

You can say that, because I know it's all that's happening here. Yeah, so how much attention do you give to that, though, like?

Speaker 2: 10:43

well for me.

Speaker 2: 10:44

I I went at it like a professional athlete yeah, that's what I feel like I've been doing yeah great, then you know you'll be, you'll be playing at, you'll be playing at the highest level and that's that's what I feel like I've been doing. Yeah great, then you know you'll be playing at the highest level and that's what we're interested in. We want to be elite athletes, spiritual athletes, ripped on the inside. I love that one. I'm totally ripped on the inside. Pardon, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's ripped on the inside and the outside. My six pack. Unfortunately, it's at one with itself.