Speaker 1: 0:53

My question is really about how we relate to self, our relationship with self, in a way, as we're kind of seeing ourselves going through things. We see things that we might not like for ourselves, right, which is having expressions of unworthiness in a way right and just working out, forgetting the question later. But we also see what our expressions of this intelligence that you're talking about. It feels much more like my essence that is being expressed in that way and as we're not kind of proud or ashamed of our unworthiness, I wonder how we relate. How do we relate to it?

Speaker 2: 1:51

When you say all this to the unworthiness is that what you're referring to?

Speaker 1: 1:56

To the unworthiness, but also to not feel as much like it.

Speaker 2: 2:01

Right when you're in yourself and expressive of that. When you're being expressive of yourself, yeah, the way that we relate to it ultimately is innocence. But innocence isn't something that is practice, it's just something that we are to. It ultimately is innocence. But innocence isn't something that is practice, it's just something that we are. And what is innocence? It is the spontaneous acceptance of what is. We arrive at innocence when we have reconciled that which we are resisting and there's a great deal of resistance in all of us to some extent in accepting one the perfection of this moment, the perfection in our imperfection, that the divine reality knows of our existence and is deeply caring and participating in our evolutionary experience, that I have deep purpose and significance in this life. This applies to everybody, this is our nature.

Speaker 2: 3:20

When we are in conflict with this, when there is disbelief, doubt, resistance to this, to those things that I just mentioned, the pathway to innocence, which is just the spontaneous allowing of this moment to unfold without premeditated thought, without a strategy, just allowing it, innocence is unleashing our natural instinct to be in awe of this magnificent life and to be expressive of the love that swells in our heart beholding it. We've all had experiences of noticing how magnificent this life is and your heart floods with love and maybe you cry because it's so beautiful. We know what it's like and then we just are at peace in that moment, appreciating everything and seeing wonder and beauty in everything the mundane, and we're not thinking about the fact that we're doing it, we're just having the experience innocently. There's no other agenda at play, but just being in the moment, appreciating it. How do we liberate that experience? By reconciling everything that we are not accepting of, everything that we are resisting inside of ourselves, because in resistance we split, there is difference of opinion. There is a belief in our true nature. No, I am beautiful, I am significant, I am worthy. I have something very important and significant to contribute.

Speaker 2: 5:27

Who do you think you are? You idiot, don't be stupid, nobody cares, just shush and go and do that safe thing over there and just shut up, you idiot. You know, something like that is what's going on inside most people most of the time and we need to like speak about it and we need to call it out, and we we need to understand what's happening here and what the pathway out of that is, and the pathway out of that is engaging in that experience with love and with compassion, observing what's going on, and what we notice is the two dimensions. The split is generally the adult in us that knows ourself and the wounded child that finds it very, very difficult to accept who they really are. Because you didn't receive what you needed as a sensitive soul growing up. Who you are was not validated, was not nurtured, cared for in a particular way that would enable you to reconcile the magnificence of your existence and the beauty of your soul. And there is in each of us knowingness of the truth, and sometimes facing that truth is so incredibly painful that we choose to just go. I'm sorry, it's just too hard to believe in that, to just lean into who I really am, because I just could not deal with another disappointment of discovering that actually, it's true, I'm not really worth anything at all. Discovering that actually, it's true, I'm not really worth anything at all. I'm not really willing to risk it. So I'm just going to be mediocre. I'm just going to play the small game, play it safe and stay in that container and not tell anybody about it, and pretend to be something and pretend to be something. This is like a, you know, a gruff characterization, but I do it for the purpose of painting a picture. There are varying degrees of this. Some are more gentle, some are more extreme. It's kind of like the middle model Ha ha ha. And what we must learn to do as a matter of urgency is make ourself priority, make the inner experience that we're having priority. Stop ignoring what's happening inside of you. Notice the cycle and go. All right enough, I'm going to deal with this now. I'm going to put this one to bed. What have I got to do? Who's around me that I can? Going to deal with this now. I'm going to put this one to bed. What have I got to do? Who's around me that I can talk to? I confess up about how I've been hiding what's really going on. I'm going to expose myself. This is a really good thing to do, particularly with people that you know you can trust, preferably and have it out. Get it out. No, you can trust preferably and have it out. Get it out With the understanding that, in releasing this, what you're seeking to do is to claim the responsibility of your power as quickly as possible, while expressing your vulnerability as quickly as possible.

Speaker 2: 9:33

While expressing your vulnerability, we don't want to get caught up and stuck on the vulnerability train. There's a danger in this. Being vulnerable can feel really good and we can want to just stay there, but when we're staying there past the point that we're no longer vulnerable and just like that openness and release feels kind of cathartic and therapeutic. If we're delaying, claiming our power, we're creating a problem. Are you following me? Are you following me?

Speaker 2: 10:18

Okay, so just to recap, we want to acknowledge and stop ignoring the conflict that's happening inside of us. We want to pick the biggest problem and face it head on by opening up, laying it out and and declaring that it's time for me to confront this. I'm no longer willing to live torn and compromised like this. I want my true self and my power to flourish, and this thing that makes me completely doubt that truth is like a thorn in my side and I want to heal.

Speaker 2: 10:58

You need to find your power to actualize that. Make it happen, make it priority, make yourself priority, stop ignoring it. That's what needs to happen. That's how we start this process of really deep healing. And once you kind of confront one thing, it becomes kind of exciting. It's like, wow, if I dealt with that, what about this If I dealt with that? What about this. If I dealt with that, what about this? The next thing you know you're empowered and capable, and anything that comes your way, you're just processing it in the moment because you know your capability, you understand the intelligence of yourself and the mechanics of reconciling.