Speaker 1: 0:53

I was just thinking about what you've just been saying about transgressions and the universe being non-cognitive, and I've been reflecting a lot lately on the role of apologies, like the word sorry, what it means.

Speaker 2: 1:10

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:12

The action of being sorry in connected in connection to other people, and I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on that, because I'm still trying to understand my own relationship to it wow, great question.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Yeah, yeah, love it, yeah again it's.

Speaker 2: 1:31

Love it. Yeah, again, it's sorry operates on a certain level of consciousness If we're not intimately familiar with somebody and have an established relationship or we're not sharing. Actually, I'm going to start it all again and simplify it. We can do this much more simply. Sorry means different things to different people at different times.

Speaker 2: 2:24

What sorry does is it reestablishes the fabric of trust when knowingness is forgotten. We only need trust when there is an absence of knowingness, and what I mean by that is in moments in our relationships we can know each other so deeply that the concept of even needing trust, it's not even a thing, it's just knowingness. Like, whatever happens, it's all fine because we see each other so deeply. But then at times, even in these deep relationships, we can forget certain layers that can cause us to feel separate and disconnected and not aligning, and in our behavior we may trigger each other and disconnected and not aligning. And in our behavior we may trigger each other and demonstrate an insensitivity, a low level of sensitivity to the vulnerability of the other, and we might do that to each other.

Speaker 2: 3:28

But in this instance let's just say that we do it to somebody and we notice that there is some degree of trust violated and the desire is to reconnect and reestablish that deep connection. Sorry is just a really nice way of saying I've put down my weapons and I have reorientated my attention towards your needs and your level of sensitivity. I am attuned to you and so it's safe now to open up your heart again to me. Can we do that? I'm sorry. So in that instance that's the function of sorry, and Do you think that I'm sorry?

Speaker 2: 4:25

Well, you know, we just need to be aware of whether it's something that we are wanting to do or it's something that is expected of us. Something that is expected of us, something that is demanded of us, because we don't want to get caught in a cycle of having to say sorry if there isn't that authentic desire, there is something else that we can do when we don't feel that. So, anyway, you were going to ask something.

Speaker 1: 5:08

I guess I just I agree with everything you're saying and that really resonates. And one thing that I've been noticing in my life, recently coming up in my life, recently coming up in my practice, is this like feelings of disappointment and a little bit of resentment around the people in my life who don't seem to really ever apologize, and I don't know what to do with that yet. Just that, that's very big yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Yeah Well, I can give you a pretty quick response to that. The easiest way for us to look at disappointment is a disappointment of expectation. You are holding on to an idea that these individuals that are around you should be behaving outside of their own state of consciousness, because we can only ever act in accordance with our own state of consciousness, and our disappointment is just the inaccurate read of where somebody's really at. As we move into higher states of consciousness, disappointment becomes a phenomenon that occurs less and less and less, because we become more skilled and accurate in determining where somebody's at, no longer willing to deny or delude ourselves based on our own needs Because our expectations that are not realistic, are disappointed come from a need of someone to play a role, to either validate us, to reinforce some idea that we need reinforcing, you know, to play some role to uphold something. That's very unsustainable ultimately, and so we want to be vigilant Whenever we find ourselves disappointed. Again, the superpower compassion and taking responsibility. How can I take responsibility for this feeling right now? They keep behaving in this way. It's so predictable, God. I'm disappointed with them.

Speaker 2: 7:32

The onus is on us to understand why it is they're behaving that way, and it very often has very little to do with us, and if they're even aware of the fact that they're making you feel that way which often most people aren't they've probably got very little control over it Because they haven't yet cultivated what you have.

Speaker 2: 8:00

We can't expect everybody to be at the same level we have that we are at, to be at the same level we have that we are at.

Speaker 2: 8:10

It's just a completely unrealistic thing to expect everybody to be on the same level as us and see reality in the same way that we do, and that reframes the context for every single interaction in our life. It causes us to do an audit on the underlying program that we run in the background that drives all of our interactions. Once we start unpicking, we're picking some of these, these knots in our relationships that are delivering disappointment. What we start to realize is oh, there's a common theme here. The common theme is I'm projecting a need, some neediness, into all of these relationships and I am investing a lot of time and energy in trying to strategize and this sounds a bit harsh but manipulate the situation to get a particular kind of response to validate me, and the fact that you're sitting here and listening to this suggests that you're well and truly out the door of this kind of behavior and you're just still noticing some remnants, some debris, that's still kind of.

Speaker 2: 9:38

You're out of the projection room, the externally referenced projection room, but you're still carrying some of the confetti from the party and you're just like what is this? And you're concerned that you're carrying that into whatever is emerging. Now. The simple key here is just to be vigilant. Every opportunity that you have to reflect on how you can take responsibility for your own disappointment. It's very, very powerful, very empowering. And then, in the moments where you have an agreement with somebody because sometimes we get disappointed and it's based on an agreement, but sometimes we make agreements that are a little above our pay grade we enter into contracts that we can't always uphold. I'll love you forever. In this particular way, it's like ooh.

Speaker 2: 10:58

Maybe, you know, you said you'd love me forever. It's a big disappointment that we have. It was a contract that we made. We approach that a little bit differently, you know, because we need to be, you know, gentle with ourselves, because there was an understanding. But these are massive growth moments for us, wonderful and important growth moments, opportunities. All of our disappointments are remarkable opportunities for boing. If it was like one of those Super Mario games, you get like 100 coins of those Super Mario games. You get like 100 coins, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You generate the credits. If you process the disappointment, you make great gains. That's the best way to look at it. Thank you, you're welcome.

Speaker 2: 12:06

So the last thing I'll say is you know, what you're noticing me do is I'm reframing everything. I'm just reframing everything that's already happening. There is a perspective that we can take with absolutely everything that ultimately serves as a key of liberating us from a container. Out of the container, we come back into the container, we liberate ourselves, we come back into the container, we liberate ourselves and we get better and better and better and better and better, and it's so important. What we're doing here is just reminding ourselves, hearing it, hearing it, hearing it, hearing it, and then, you know, going away, putting it into practice and then coming back and hearing it, hearing it, just massaging it. It's very, very powerful for how we can advance and advance, and advance, and the hope here is that we cultivate self-sufficiency as quickly as possible, because this is the name of the game.

Speaker 2: 13:15

This is why I say compassion and responsibility. They're the superpowers. That's what gets us back into ourself. How can I take responsibility? And am I being loving with myself about this situation? And am I being loving with everybody, everything? And if I'm not on the surface level, just sit and that is the act of it.